Exactly three years ago today, on February 19th 2013, Metal Gear Rising Revengeance was released in North America. The action filled spin off featuring cyborg Raiden is not really considered a canonical part of the Metal Gear timeline, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have any entertaining quotes. Here are the ten most memorable, craziest and funniest pieces of dialogue from the game.
I said my sword is a tool of justice, not used in anger, not drawn in vengeance. But now, I’m not so sure. And besides, this isn’t my sword.
Okay, so after being able to quell the bloodthirsty demon hiding inside Raiden’s psyche, he embraces his purpose as a protector of justice, not as a spirit of vengeance. But some people just beg you to make an exception. Senator Armstrong is one of those people. He is a very good reason to draw your sword as a tool of vengeance. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s another little fact Raiden considers: this sword isn’t even his. How convenient!
All we’re saying is… Give war a chance!
That’s not unreasonable, right? Come on, give war a chance, it might surprise you. No, but seriously, this guy isn’t even trying to justify war as a means to an end. No, he goes above and beyond and calls to question the negative imago of war itself. Because hey, don’t judge a book by its cover… or, don’t judge warfare by its use of brainwashing children, who can be molded into committing all sorts of atrocities, “and there’s nothing like a good atrocity to keep a war going’. Yeah, if this guy isn’t an evil maniac, then no one is.
Maybe I was wrong about you. You’re not greedy… you’re batshit INSANE!
There’s a lot of things you can accuse senator Armstrong of, but indecisiveness isn’t one of them. During his fight with Raiden he lays out his plans for a new America – while beating Raiden up at the same time. After listening to the senator’s passionate speech during which every point he makes is underlined by the sole of his shoe ramming down on Raiden’s chest, Raiden has to adjust his views about the politician. He did change his mind about Armstrong, but not quite in the direction the senator was aiming at. Raiden is now sure of it: it’s not greed that drives this man. It’s simply a total lack of common sense.
Senator Armstrong is a man of many surprises. Like when his skin suddenly turns into an armor. His explanation? Nanomachines, son!
Don’t fuck with THIS senator!
Can he be any more clear with this? You may be able to mess with some politicians, but not this one. Because this senator is a crazy, nano-machine enhanced, football playing, super weapon powering, foul mouthed member of the senate. Who could, in his own words, break the president in two with his bare hands. And probably not just as a manner of speaking. Now the only question is: who elected this guy?
Pain… this is why I live. This is my normal. This is my nature.
Raiden’s inner demon – Jack the Ripper, a remnant from his past as a child soldier – is awakened during the course of the game. It turns him into a bloodthirsty monster, an alter ego for which pain and killing comes natural. It’s also kind of creepy.
First, you need to take a DOOMP.
How would you react if a doctor with a heavy German accent told you this? “Wait… what?” Raiden asks. A digital-optical output mounted proxy, of course! As you might have guessed, this joke is only in the English version of the game, in the Japanese version there’s a different misunderstanding altogether, about Raiden’s jumping abilities. In this case the localized version may be the most fun one.
Mind if I cut in?
Get it, ‘cut’, because he’s a swordsman? Ah, a play on words, who doesn’t like them?
Wordplay: My exoskeleton resembles a canine: canines enjoy bones. Amusing on two levels.
Blade Wolf (K-9000)
You know what’s even better than spontaneously coming up with a clever wordplay? Having an robotic wolf possessing an artificial intellect ‘far beyond human reckoning’ acknowledge its funniness from the backseat of your car. After Raiden convinces his team to ‘throw him a bone’, the LQ-84i responds by quickly analyzing the joke and drawing the scientifically grounded conclusion that it’s amusing.
Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak.
Monsoon is a guy who doesn’t seem to believe in anything. “Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke.” He doesn’t believe in anything, except for ‘the memes’. You can’t fight nature, he tells Raiden. You can’t fight the wind, the rain, or the slaughter taking place in the world. What Raiden can do, however, is throw a helicopter in Monsoon’s face.